I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
