Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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