Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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