How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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