I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
