I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
