yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
