why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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