Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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