My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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