All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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