Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
