I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
