Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
