Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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