I think my vagina is haunted
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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