Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
