What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
