There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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