He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize