An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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