I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
