I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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