Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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