girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize