used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize