North Korea, Best Korea!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize