Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I will pee on everything he values.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
