I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
foreskin is a definite game changer
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
