Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
