How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She even gives head with a lisp.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
false alarm, still single
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