so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize