Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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