im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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