That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize