so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
