STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
