So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
