Kiss
Puke
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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