Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
