His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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