What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize