Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
