if you like me you must not know who I am
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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