is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
