Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
