i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
