There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you will always have a special place in my vag
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
