I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i will never coherently bang her
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
