he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
