I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
