if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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