Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
