i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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