$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
