The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
