Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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