i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm at about main and main street
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
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