I need help removing her.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
