Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
