Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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