Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
