I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
