the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
