I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
