i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
