he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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