i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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